Everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone NEEDS to feel loved.
For many parents the connection between “good” behavior and showing love to a child is a very powerful one. Sometimes parents feel they must withhold love if a child is acting “badly”.
This conditioned thought may stem from our own childhood where we felt approved and loved when we were “good” or “deserving” of love.
Children however often need to feel loved, connected and welcomed when they seem to least deserve it. In that very moment when they act out, pout, yell, bang the door, kick, cry….right then, that is when they really need you to say yes to love. When we choose to say yes to love we are nurturing and cultivating connection.
Will you try it? Will you try saying YES to love, even when it seems like it’s not the “right” time?
Peace & Be Well.
Ariadne
Ariadne Brill
Yes! Though I have been working on this, it will be a challenge for me in the specific kinds of moments that you mentioned. But I know that if I can override my tendencies in these moments, it will only become easier!
Thanks for the reminder! 🙂 This has also been a challenge for me since we adopted our son last year. However, I have been trying to think more about what may be causing the tantrum or acting out, then in return giving him what his needs at that time. (Hugs, reassurance, etc.) Great challenge!
How wonderful that you are looking into meeting your child’s needs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!