It’s easy for us parents to worry about how we must shape, raise and instill values in our children. Pre-set notions of how our children should respond in certain situations have the potential to become a noisy and destructive monologue within our thoughts.
“He better say thank you to aunty so she doesn’t think he is being raised without manners”
“She has to share that toy without fussing so this mom doesn’t think I’m letting her be selfish”
“He needs to eat this food so grandma doesn’t think he is a fussy eater”
“She better not have a tantrum here at the store so people don’t think I’m a bad parent”
What happens if we try to drop the destructive worry?What if we focus on positive possibilities? What if we forget the potential judgment of others and remember that they are not the ones charged with the amazing journey of raising our child(ren)? What if we instead tune in to our own constructive thoughts, our child’s needs and our relationship?
“Wow Billy liked that gift so much he is totally absorbed with playing with it. I will model saying thank you and ask him if there is anything he would LIKE to say to his aunt.”
“Emma is not up to sharing right now, what can I offer to her as an alternative? What can I offer to this other child?”
“Johnny is still exploring his tastes, maybe he would like something else that is served at the table”
“Wow, Leena is feeling overwhelmed with all these enticing goodies at the store, how can I help her stay calm/what does she need/how quickly can we leave/how can I say YES without overstepping a limit?”
So can you remember to lower the volume on that destructive worry and instead tune in to the positive possibilities?
Peace & Be Well,
Ariadne
Ariadne Brill
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