As parents, we wish to have influence with our children. We wish for cooperation. We want our children to follow directions and accept guidance. Yet, how often do we take the opposite path to get there?
We insist on control and demand obedience from our children. We speak of battles and power. We shush emotions and dismiss creative ideas. We assume the worse instead of understanding intentions. We search high and low for quick tips and tricks, anything that will get kids to do what they are told, when they are told, preferably with a big smile on their face, no questions asked and impeccable manners.
We overlook the fact that growing up is full of obstacles and hardships. We forget that children are not equipped with adult reasoning and that they do not share our hardened reality. We forget that children are curious, genuine and authentic by design, not by fault.
Never mind coercion, fear, control, hurt, and quick fixes. If you want influence, if you want to be heard, if you want your guidance to matter: Connect. Connect and cooperation will follow.
Pause, listen and really see your child.
the big curious eyes.
that mind that is ready to learn.
that heart so full of love.
the belly full of laughter.
the hands ready to help.
the arms open for hugs.
Pause. Listen. See your child.
See how much your child needs love, trust and bonding.
Pause. Listen. See and Connect.
Connect and cooperation will follow.
Peace & Be Well,
Ariadne
Ariadne Brill
Super awesome article…thank u. I love the authentic connection I experience with my daughter, Zoë. From this connection, I feel a mutual respect and a flowing rhythm of growth in both of us. I believe she has just as much to teach me as I offer my guidance to her. The gift of Motherhood truly is recognizing this priceless connection to its full capacity….gorgeous.
Meagan, I really like what you said about learning and teaching your daughter and how important connection is to the both of you. thanks for sharing here about your experience.